Two Years Home

On this day two years ago, June 29th 2011, I returned home from my service as a missionary for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. As many other sentimental missionaries have done, I want to take some time to write about what this experience meant to me. For those who are reading this who are not a member of the LDS faith, I hope this will give you some understanding as to what I did for 18 months of my life and the impact it had on me.

A mission was the best and hardest thing I have ever done. Ever since I was young I wanted to be a missionary. My mother served a mission and her dedication to and faith in the Savior was always an example to me. Making the decision to go was hard. I left in the middle of my college education, giving up opportunities for school, jobs, relationships, and time with my family. As a missionary, you decide to dedicate all your time and attention to serving Heavenly Father and teaching people about Jesus Christ for 18 months... Going to a new area of the world and speaking a foreign language, emailing your family once every week and hearing them on the phone two times a year, wearing a dress everyday in 100-degree weather or in 4 feet of snow, waking up everyday at 6:30am (that was a hard one for me)... Needless to say, many sacrifices have to be made if you want to be a missionary. But that is the whole point - to sacrifice all of our worldly desires for a period of time to leave home and teach people about Jesus Christ.

Shouldn't we be willing to sacrifice everything that we might know Him better?

When I received my mission assignment to go to the Arizona Phoenix Mission the first thought that went through my head was, "Great... I'm going to be sweating for 18 months!" I entered the Missionary Training Center about 10 days after Christmas. Over the period of the next 18 months I served with 10 different companions in 6 different areas (Glendale and Flagstaff, AZ, Bloomfield and Aztec, NM, and Durango and Bayfield, CO), had two mission presidents, AND switched mission assignments to serve in the New Mexico Farmington Mission.

My mission experience was filled with experiences that brought me closer to my Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. There were also times when I was discouraged and sadness. Every missionary will experience times like these. The real test comes in how each person deals with those times of discouragement. Do you choose to stop working hard or go home? Or do you choose to put your faith and trust in the Lord and press forward?

 I went through such an experience of which I have only told my parents about until now. In an area where we were not having much success for many months, I wrote in my journal "What else is there for me to do here? What else does the Lord want me to do?" I was tired of trying to talk to people who didn't want to have anything to do with us. I was tired of knocking on doors. I was tired of teaching the same 3 people every week who were not making any real commitment to change. I was ready to throw in the towel, give up, and come home. And then I realized....... The Savior did not give up on me when he was in the Garden of Gethsemane. He did not say "I'm tired" or "This is too hard." There were thousands of people who did not want to have anything to do with Him or want to change their traditional way of life. And yet He did not falter.

Although some days it was a battle to get out of bed, I decided to keep pushing forward with what I had promised the Lord I would do - and that, I consider a victory. Just like the beginning, the end of my mission was filled with wonderful companions who encouraged me and helped me to keep working hard. It was filled with members of the church that became family to me. It was filled with opportunities for sharing about Jesus Christ that will forever solidify my testimony in Him. I am grateful for the Savior's example of steadfastness and how it helped me to press forward. 

My memories of my mission are already beginning to fade over time. I occasionally will talk with my companions about mission stories and memories to help me remember. I am also VERY grateful that I kept a journal for about 80% of my daily events. And I took a lot of pictures... Although the memories will fade, I will NEVER forget the feelings that I had ---

When I heard Brian Kohlenberg share his testimony for the first time

When a parents would renew their commitment to Jesus Christ because of the faith of their children
Joe Brown's dedicatin to invite every person he met to meet with us to learn about Jesus Christ

When I read my scriptures and received revelation for people we were teaching
Young single adult college students, like Janice and Jill Bacigalupo, who follow what they know to be true even when family and friends oppose their decision

When Mary Trujillo invited me to her baptism (after meeting with missionaries on and off for 5 years)

And the list could go on and on...

It is these memories and the feelings that I had as a missionary that carry me through hard times today. When I am having difficulty with my faith now, I remember the time I spent as a missionary and the conviction that I had about the Gospel of Jesus Christ. It helps me to remember the principles that I thought and how important it is to do the little things like read my scriptures and pray to my Heavenly Father. It helps me to stay on the path. It gives me light when I am in a dark and low place. 

It helps me to know that I am not alone.